Your Call
by Emmizu
Summary: "Call me now, Amu! We need to talk! Please!" He shut the phone utterly disgusted with himself. How could he do that to her? If only he didn't mess up the only thing that made him happy. It was a bad call afterall.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Waiting for You

This will be strictly KukaixAmu no other pairings will happen but Tadase will be present despite my dislike towards him xD anyway just to clear things up no shugo charas will be present either I just want to focus on the characters and the story line. I'm super inspired to do with story based off of the song Your Call by Secondhand Serenade. :) It's beautiful. Now onto the story, enjoy!

...

"_Amu we need to talk. It's about us." The brunette's face was serious. The girl could tell by the way his green eyes never wavered from hers. _

"_Okay." He took her hand gently in his and led her away from her friends. The rosette looked back passing a worried look to both Rima and Yaya. None of them moved a single inch. The pair made it around a deserted corner of the school and sat down on a wooden bench. Kukai still held her hand in his and squeezed it before giving his speech. _

"_I don't think we should continue as... a couple right now. I think it's best for us to take a break and see if it will work a couple weeks from now. I hope you understand, Amu." He studied her face noticing the tears that were threatening to fall from her honey colored eyes. "Please don't cry. You know how much I hate it when you cry."_

"_H- How can I not cry? D- Di- Did I do something wrong? If I did I'm sorry I can be an idiot sometimes and I- I'm sorry!" _

_Kukai pulled Amu close and hugged her. "You didn't do anything wrong trust me. I'm the one who needs to get his priorities straightened out." _

_Amu pushed the boy off of her and quickly tried to wipe her tears away. "No this has something to do with Utau, doesn't it?" _

_He had to admit that response did surprise him but it wasn't Utau. He hasn't seen or heard from her in months. He got a few occasional texts from her saying she was fine and not to worry about her but that just wasn't it. "No it isn't Utau. You know I haven't spoken to her in awhile."_

"_It doesn't hurt to ask. I just know you two were __**real**__ close before we started going out."_

"_Amu, she left for her tour and we are best friends, nothing more or less. Trust me."_

_The girl stood in front of Kukai. "I wish I could but I just can't wait for you to get your __**priorities **__straight." _

"_Amu please don't say that. You don't understand what is going on right now."_

"_Then tell me! What's your big secret?"_

_Kukai took a deep breath and stood alongside Amu, looking down into her eyes. "I will tell you when we get back together, I promise." Leaning down, he pressed his lips against hers. It was light and sweet, just the way Amu liked it, it was like saying 'see you soon.' He started pulling back when Amu got on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss of his own letting him know that if she had to, she would wait just for him. Both pulled away that time looking at each other before hugging, again. _

_Tears were gathering in Amu's eyes and before Kukai knew it, she dashed away right as the last bell rang for school to end. He watched as she ran in the direction of her house. _

"_I'm sorry, Amu." He whispered to himself._

_... _

I still couldn't believe that I made the choice to wait for him. It's been a whole week without one word from him. Maybe I should just text him and see what he is up to. But what if he doesn't answer me? God I don't know what to do.

Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate. I looked down and saw _**his**_ name. It took me awhile to open the text.

_Hey Amu! What's up? –Kukai_

_Hey. I'm just sitting in my room. How about you? –Amu_

_Oh nothing I just got done with soccer practice. How are you? –Kukai_

How could he even ask that? I'm doing horrible because a week after our break up you act like nothing even happened!

_I'm fine. You? –Amu_

_Why are you just fine? –Kukai_

You should know. _Idk. That's just how I feel. How are you? –Amu_

_Oh. I'm doing good. I made captain of the soccer team! :) –Kukai_

_That's great. –Amu_

_Well… I guess I will talk to you later. Goodnight Amu. –Kukai_

_Yeah goodnight. –Amu _

I slammed my phone shut. I couldn't take it anymore. I went to bed absolutely sick to my stomach. All I knew was if he didn't want to get back together all I could do was move on and find someone new.

…..

Kukai sat and stared at the background on his phone. It was the picture of their first date where he surprised her with a kiss on the cheek. Her cheeks were as bright as a tomato of course. Why was he so stupid? He knew she wouldn't be happy especially since he had been avoiding her for a whole week. He couldn't keep this up for long not like this, he would crack eventually.

Then the brunette heard voices downstairs yelling towards other voices that joined in. Why did this have to happen at a time like this? It was their fault for what had happened between him and Amu. His teeth clenched together as small tears began to collect in his eyes. He hated them and he wished it would all stop. Life wasn't worth it when everything seemed to be going wrong. Eventually, he too, decided to go to bed. He looked forward to seeing her face again.

….

Well that's the end of the first chapter! I'm trying to improve on my writing skills so tell me if I'm doing any better! I could use some advice haha. :p I'm super excited to be starting a new story and to be writing about a new couple. Just so you know I'm a fan of Amuto of course but I think there is way too much stories of them on here XD So the world needs more Kukamu lovin! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: New Beginnings

…

I made it to school managing to avoid any contact with him. Thank goodness because if I did happen to run into him, I would have probably ran the other way not caring what he thought of me afterwards. Making it up the stairs to my locker I saw someone new standing before me. It wasn't Yaya or Rima it was actually the school's 'prince', Tadase. Well that was quite a surprise for me since according to rumors he was after Yaya.

I nodded to him and he stepped aside letting me into my locker. I could feel the intensity of his stare boring right into the side of my face. "You know if you want to see Yaya she is probably at her locker right now." I continued rummaging through my locker hoping he would disappear.

Tadase thought for a moment before answering. "I'm not looking for Yaya. I was actually looking for you."

I flinched but continued to grab things out of my locker. "Why would _you_ be looking for _me_?"

He didn't hesitate this time. "I wanted to ask you something very important."

I slammed my locker shut and looked straight into his eyes. "Then ask already."

He seemed to be taken back by the straight forwardness and fierce honey eyes staring into his soul. He looked around nervously then asked his burning question. "I want you to go on a date with me this weekend, if you have time."

"You realize I just went through a rough break up, right?"

"Of course I do. It's the talk of the school but you have every right to date again don't you?"

I blinked slowly and gazed down at my shoes. All my fierce and edgy emotions seemed to melt away at that very question.

I heard him laughing at my reaction. "You don't have to tell me your answer right now. I can text you later." I looked back up at him slightly angered but then I saw him smile towards someone behind me. I turned around and met the very person I was hoping not to meet today.

He came walking up with a serious look on his face and nodded back towards Tadase sending him off in another direction. The brunette leaned up against the lockers with his hands in his pockets.

I sent him a glare in which he answered one with his own. "It's nice to see you too, Amu." I noticed everyone that passed us was watching with great interest probably ready to start more rumors.

"Good morning, Kukai," was the last thing I said to him as a started towards homeroom reluctantly he followed right beside me. "We aren't going out so why are you taking me to class?"

He continued straight on without saying a word. I snapped my gaze up to his face about to tell him off but his eyes stopped me. "Kukai?"

"Hmm?" He looked down dazed. "Oh sorry Amu, I forgot I have to talk to someone before homeroom. I'll text ya later."

I watched him leave with his head down and shoulders tense. I don't know why but I couldn't keep my eyes off him. It was strange how he looked like that. He never looked like that before.

"Is there a reason why he is walking you to class?"

My whole body jumped at Rima's quiet voice. Quickly collecting myself I faced her and frowned. "No he just wanted to speak for a moment, nothing serious, trust me."

Rima seemed to accept my answer and led me into homeroom. It was my favorite class considering the fact that Rima and Yaya were in it. But when I came in Yaya didn't greet me like she usually did. She was distracted and didn't acknowledge my existence. I looked at Rima for an answer and she replied with a silent one, Tadase. Turning my body around to talk to her I asked her a simple question. "What's wrong Yaya?"

Her pig tails bounced as she stared at me, confused. "Tadase hasn't texted me in the last day or so." Her eyes went straight down to my hands that were clutching the back of my seat until my knuckles turned white. "Also people told me that they saw him with you." Her brown eyes looked into mine looking for confirmation.

I raised an eyebrow in return and shook my head. "He was at my locker this morning saying silly things and I turned him down." The last part was a lie but I wanted to protect Yaya. She nodded at the answer and smiled. Rima was the only shocked one to hear that Tadase was with me this morning.

"That's good! Sorry about my depressing mood I was in! It's all better now!" Yaya waved her hand dismissing the conversation. A few seconds later the bell rang commencing for class to start.

….

"Kukai, dude, don't you think you should be over Amu by now? I mean I know you l-"

I sent my friend a deathly glare.

"Sorry. I know you seriously do, so why don't you tell her that? What's holding you back?"

I gave him no answer and stared straight at the board where the teacher was. Daichi has been my best friend for years. His hair was a sky blue color with fiery brown eyes that wooed all the girls to his side. He was co- captain to the soccer team while I, of course, was the captain. He always approved of Amu and I when we started going out. Now it seemed like he wanted me to move on and focus on sports to get all my anger out.

"You already know the reason why I'm holding back."

He nodded and then replied, "Yeah but she didn't need to suffer."

I bit the side of my lip. "Shut up."

"Kukai and Daichi please stop whispering and listen up!"

"Sorry sensei." We both said in unison.

**Well that's the end of this chapter. Thank you for the great reviews on the first chapter! It's greatly appreciated! A couple of things I wanted to say is I'm so glad that there are some Kukamu fans out there besides me XD and it makes me want to work ten times harder on this story! I'm really not sure how long it will be but I'm just writing them out as I go. I'm not planning them at all which I think I'm better at X'D **

**Also, yes I did use Kukai's shugo chara as his best friend but in the manga Tadase was a good friend of his but not in this story so I hope you liked that creativity of mine! **

**Please Review below! **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Go Out With Me.

…

My day at school was finally coming to end and boy was I happy to realize that. I managed to spend the rest of my day by avoiding both Kukai and Tadase. Unfortunately I did have math and art class with Kukai's friend Daichi. We sit right next to each other in both classes so there were some very awkward moments between us. He talked to me occasionally but it wasn't anything I really cared to remember. I sighed realizing how much my life had changed during the last few days. All of the soccer players of the academy use to talk to me all the time because they knew I was their captain's girlfriend but now, none of them paid an ounce of attention to me. I actually missed all our conversations together. Even the girl soccer team ignored me.

I grabbed a few books from my locker and slammed it shut as a few of those girls passed behind me whispering as they went. I was sick and tired of all the rumors flying around Kukai and me. It's none of their business to begin with. Turning around I saw a glimpse of green and white jerseys down the hallway in a huge group. Right off the bat I knew it was the soccer team.

Suddenly I saw Kukai studying my whole body as if taking notes on every flaw and curve. My face turned hot instantly. To remove myself from his gaze I turned left and sprinted to the stairs.

…..

I watched her until I couldn't see her anymore. I was thinking about her all day today and it sucked, especially when the image of Tadase and her popped into my head. It drove me into insanity. I seriously broke three pencils through the whole course of school. One of them was even mechanical too. I felt my heart break again when Tadase walked by Amu's locker, obviously looking for her, again.

"Hey Kukai! Kukai, what were you saying?"

The noise of Daichi's voice broke my thoughts. I shook my head clearing my thought pattern and looked around at the soccer team. "Oh yeah, umm, practice is today and Thursday this week. Then our game is this Friday. Any questions?"

Daichi raised his hand. I groaned at the sight. I knew what this meant, he was gonna be a total ass. "Yeah I got a question for you. Why the hell are you so distracted lately?" The rest of the team nodded in agreement. They didn't have the courage to ask me straight out like Daichi.

I glared towards him earning a stifle of laughs from him. "Shut up, Daichi. Let's just start practice and get today over with." I walked away towards the soccer fields waiting for everyone else to follow behind. I heard Daichi making comments about my attitude. All I knew is that I am totally kicking his ass in practice today.

….

I stood outside the school entrance waiting for my mom to pick me up. I considered walking to the house myself since it was only six blocks away but she insisted. So here I was waiting for her and Ami to hurry up. My sister's singing class had been running late the last few days so my mom thought it would be a great idea to pick me up from school.

I looked around seeing some kids waiting around just like me then I saw some others looking pretty sketchy in the dark corner of the school. Out of the blue I felt my phone vibrate inside my pocket. I took it out seeing Tadase's name on the screen. _Great_ I knew I was going to hear from him sooner or later. I opened up the text and read it.

"_Hey Amu." _

"_Hello Tadase." _

"_So what's your answer?"_

"_Why are you being so persistent?"_

"_Because I want to get to know you, Amu."_

I didn't know why but those exact words made me sick and angry. But I knew I didn't have the heart or the guts to tell him no.

"_Fine I will go just this once."_

"_Good :) Hopefully there will be more chances though."_

"_Yeah maybe."_

"_So are you free this Friday?"_

I thought for a moment realizing that Rima had already asked me to go to the soccer game this Friday.

"_I can't this Friday I made plans with my friend, Rima."_

"_Cancel them. Please Amu just give me a chance."_

I rolled my eyes. "… _Fine I will see what I can do."_

"_Well then, Amu, it's a date. I will pick you up let's say around six?"_

"_Sounds good."_

"_Okay well I will text you later. I have to go to the student council meeting since I'm class president. Bye Amu :)"_

"_Goodbye Tadase."_

Right then and there my mom pulled up in the red minivan. I heard my sister yell out my name excitedly. I opened the door and sat in the passenger seat next to mama.

"Hi Ami. Hi mama." I said as happy as I could.

My mom smiled while she pulled away from the building. "So how was your day?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Just another day for me. Nothing exciting."

"Don't worry honey. Everything scars and heals eventually."

"I know mama. I'm just tired of waiting for that."

"Have you talked to him at all?"

I listened to Ami singing in the back seat happily in her own world not even paying attention to our conversation. But my mom's voice broke in again. "Amu?"

"I did once today. He walked me to class and that's about it."

My mom made a girly squeal and bounced in her seat. "That's a good sign then! It means he is going to keep his promise!"

I frowned and turned to look out the window. "Whatever you say." I clenched my fists calming my built up emotions.

We pulled up in the drive way. As I was unbuckling my seat belt I felt my mom's hand on my shoulder. I gazed into her patient eyes. "Yes?"

"Please don't give up. I know you two can work this out." I shook my head violently trying not to let my growing tears fall.

"It's too late! You don't understand at all!"

"But honey-"

I cut her off. "I have a date this Friday and you know what? As soon as Kukai hears about it, which you know he will, he will give up and never talk to me again!"

My mom's eyes grew wide. "You have a date with a different boy? I thought you wanted to work things out with Kukai."

I slapped her hand off my shoulder and jumped out of the minivan. "I don't know what I want anymore. I'm tired of people trying to force me to do things I'm not sure I want to do!" I slammed the door and ran off into the house. I hated yelling at her in front of Ami. But it was hard not to considering the fact that I was a volcano just waiting to explode.

Screw. You. All.

….

**Ta- da! Another chapter done! Wow this one had some real emotions. Pretty much what I was trying to get across was that Amu had so many feelings built up from her tough day that she had to explode sometime. I know I try not to but I explode sometimes too because I keep all my feelings inside. So I do sympathize with her. She tried covering up her pain but that never lasts long. As for Kukai, he has so much doubt, jealously and frustration about everything around him he can't focus at all. Daichi doesn't help either haha XD I love writing him as sort of a cocky and smart ass person because we all have a friend like that. But hey at least he was talking to Amu in class ;) So he does have a nice side. Also I don't know if I made it clear but they are freshman in high school just so you all know. Now to answer my reviews:**

**Blossoming Hope and Dancing- Soles: I promise I will make it clear why he broke it off with her. You will just have to be patient with me!**

**Now Please Review below! Leave me your thoughts please, I love reading them. :) **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Feelings of Despair

….

After soccer practice I showered in the boy's locker room and changed back into my regular clothes. As I finished packing up my soccer bag, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to meet my blue haired friend, Daichi.

"What's up?"

He smiled devilishly before answering. "Wanna go outside and have a smoke?"

I rolled my eyes. "No thanks. You know I'm not into that crap." I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed towards the door.

"Aw come on dude and loosen up! You can't let one thing bring you down!"

I let out a sigh. "No Daichi. I'm not in the mood for your 'natural herb.' I just want to go home." I pushed open the door hoping he would stop pursing me. I heard loud footsteps behind me.

"You are so boring anymore Kukai." Daichi said as he finally caught up with me.

"Yeah yeah leave me alone about it will you?"

"I'm not going to. I hate it when you get depressed." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest. I ignored his comment completely.

We made it to our cars, which were parked next to each other, I waved towards him sending a 'goodbye'. I had hoped he would get the message and leave it at that. But as I threw my bag in the passenger seat and was going to hop in the driver's seat, Daichi leaned up against my car.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I froze and slowly studied his face. He wasn't looking at me but he was staring at something in the distance. I didn't bother to look, of course, because I could hear the cheerleaders giggling and gossiping in the distance.

"Sure go ahead."

He waved to the girls causing them all to squeal with excitement. He regarded them with a crooked smile sending them on their way. Once he was done, he turned solemn again. "When do you think your family will stop?"

I looked away cursing to myself. I didn't want to talk about this at the moment.

"Well?" He asked turning towards me waiting for my answer.

"They aren't going to stop. Not when they're out for blood." I said crossing my arms.

"Are your brothers still taking it out on each other?"

I kicked a small rock sending it underneath Daichi's car. "Yeah they are. Look can we just drop the subject."

Daichi shrugged his shoulders. "Sure thing, I was just curious. I've seen more bruises on you than any other player on the team." He got off my car and unlocked his own car. Once he opened the door he gazed back up at me. "And I don't think you got them from soccer."

….

I didn't go straight home after talking with Daichi. Instead, I went to the nearest park with a playground. I knew I was a little old to be playing at a park but hey, what harm could that do?

I saw the swing set in the distance and smiled for the first day time today. I jumped out of the car and sprinted over to the swing set. I sat down and started pumping my legs. As I got higher into the sky, memories began flashing through my mind. I remembered Amu and I went to a park on our first date together. Now that I thought about it more, it became clear that this was the exact park we went to. Shit. I let out a long sigh realizing my mistake. I couldn't think about her right now. I jumped from the swing as it started going back up. I wanted to go somewhere else that didn't bring back things like that.

As I was heading back to my car I noticed someone across the street watching me. I turned my head to the side trying to figure out who it was, and whoever it was began waving. I waved back politely, still puzzled.

"What's with that look for Kukai? Do you really not remember me?"

Whoa. That is defiantly a girl voice I heard. "I'm sorry I guess I don't. Who are you?"

The mystery person started across the street revealing long, blonde hair and a rocking body. "Oh god not this. Not right now." I whispered under my breath.

"How's it going Kukai?"

I felt my breath hitch. "Utau… when did you get back? And how did you know I was here?"

"My limo was driving by when I saw someone jump off of a swing." She pointed behind me. "When I got a better look, it was the exact person I wanted to see." She jumped forward and tightly hugged me. When I didn't hug back, she drew away and held my shoulders. "Kukai, what's the matter?"

I looked behind her seeing the limo parked across the street ignoring her question. Utau must of got annoyed and pinched my cheek catching my attention again. "You didn't answer me."

I removed her fingers from my cheek and smiled. "Maybe I don't want to tell you."

"That's not fair!" She poked my stomach sending a piercing pain through my body.

My hands shot up to my stomach. "Ouch!" I yelled.

Utau laughed taking it as a joke. "Don't be such a baby. Let me see it." She removed my hands and lifted my shirt up revealing a fist sized bruise near my hip. She stood frozen.

I panicked. "It's okay Utau. It's just a bruise from soccer."

Her lavender eyes remained where my bruise was. "Are there more?"

I repeated to her slowly. "No. I just told you it's from soccer."

"Oh really?" She snapped. Her eyes met mine, glaring dangerously. "How did you get that then?"

I scratched my head coming up with a good excuse. "I went to get the ball and a player from another team came up and kneed me. He got carded. End of story."

She shook her head. "You were never talented at lying."

"What are you talking about, Utau?" I asked defensively. I moved her hands out of my way and pulled my shirt down.

She eyed me carefully. "Don't play stupid with me." Before I could utter another word, Utau interrupted me. "Come on you're taking me to my hotel." She grabbed my wrist and began dragging me towards my car.

"What about your limo ride?"

"I can text my manager and tell her to go on without me. She trusts you so don't worry."

I complied. "How is she?"

"She's fine." She let go of my hand and let me unlock the doors. Once Utau heard the click, she hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door. Someone was throwing a fit already. I rolled my eyes and got in. I started the car and drove off towards the hotel. Moments went by before Utau spoke again. "How many more of those bruises do you have?"

"I don't really see how this is important right now."

"It's important because I want to know why you have them." Before I could fight back she slapped my hand on the steering wheel. "Don't you dare lie to me again!"

I scrunched down in my seat. "Wow."

"Please tell me, Kukai."

I tightly gripped the steering wheel. "You have to promise not to tell anyone, especially Amu, okay?"

Utau agreed and placed her hand on my shoulder. "I promise, Kukai."

I took my eyes off the road long enough to show her the tears that were threatening to fall.

"You can come upstairs to talk too if you want."

I agreed to the suggestion. "Yeah I can't stay too long."

"It's fine with me." She rubbed my arm trying to soothe me. "You have to catch me up on everything I missed when I was gone."

I tried to smile and turned my attention back on the road. "I will don't worry."

"I missed you, Kukai."

I was surprised to say the least but I knew deep down I felt the same. "I missed you too, Utau."

…..

**Well now, IT'S A NEW CHAPTER! How was it everyone? Oh my god so much development happened this time. So did anyone sense something between Utau and Kukai? I think I did! In the first chapter Amu did happen to point out past feelings between the two of them. Also just to make things clear Kukai told Amu they needed a break in the first chapter also. So hopefully that clears the air a bit for some of you. A lot of you are probably mad because I brought Utau into the story but hey I love drama in stories, don't you? XD Also another side note is they are sophomores in high school. I'm so sorry if I didn't make that clear right away! I completely forgot. **

**By the way, the scene between Kukai and Utau was a real event that happened to me and my guy friend. Except that he really got his bruise in soccer XD Although he did play it off like someone hit him _but_ he was totally kidding in the end. That meanie. :p **

**Anyway, please review below! **

**P. S. I've went over this chapter like 10 times trying to self edit it and oh my god it's hard. I can never catch my mistakes right away!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: To Be A Man

….

The next morning I woke up in an unfamiliar bed. My head throbbing and my stomach was in knots. I slowly sat up in the bed and rubbed my eyes. As my vision cleared up I noticed that I was in a hotel room... and then it hit me.

I was in Utau's hotel room. Oh my god how did this happen? I felt someone next to me in the bed roll over. When I grazed down; her blonde hair was a complete mess. I touched my body making sure I had all my clothes on, which I did, and I lifted the covers checking to see if she had hers. Thankfully she did too.

I took a deep breath before climbing out of the bed. I bent over my knees and clutched my head. What was I doing here? I knew that. But then why did I stay over? I'm stupid that's why. I'm simply stupid and thoughtless. I slapped both cheeks and got off the bed. I headed straight for the bathroom. I passed a clock that read: 6:30 in the morning.

"Okay." I whispered. At least I wouldn't be late for school.

I took off my clothes from last night and jumped in the shower. The feeling of the warm water over my skin felt amazing. I could feel the steam clearing my senses. Showering in the morning always brightened the start of my day, especially in this moment of time.

I stood in the shower for ten more minutes before finally turning off the water. I grabbed one of the skimpy towels off the rack and quickly dried off. Then I put back on my clothes and used some mouth wash that was next to Utau's make- up bag. I left the towel on the counter and opened the door of the bathroom.

"Leaving so soon, Kukai?"

I peeked around the corner and noticed Utau watching me from the bed. I nodded. "Yeah I have school today unlike you."

She yawned before getting up and walked towards me. I quickly turned around and picked up my bags and keys and almost made it out the door when two arms wrapped around my waist.

"So you are leaving just like that?"

"Yes I need to go home real fast and get to school." I breathed out unevenly.

She rubbed her face against my back which sent shivers up my spine. Instantly, a picture of Amu ran through my mind. This was wrong. Oh so very wrong to feel right now. My stomach churned. Utau finally released me and opened the front door.

I whispered. "Thank you." Before I walked away from this already uneasy situation; Utau got the last word in.

"Kukai, is it alright if I text you tonight?"

I shifted my body so I was looking straight at her and forced a toothy grin. "Yeah I don't mind. I owe you one for last night." I winked and finally left when she blushed and closed the door.

As I walked out to my car I ran through the details of last night. We left the park, went to the hotel, talked and cried for a long time, then went to bed after that. I breathed a sigh of relief realizing that nothing else happened.

Although I did wonder whether or not my brothers would be mad that I didn't come home on a school night; I guess I would have to wait til after I got home to find that out.

I unlocked my car, threw my bags in the passenger seat, and started the car. As I drove off my phone vibrated in my lap. I opened it up and saw Utau had sent me a text. It read:

_I hope you have a good day at school. Don't give up everything will be ok soon, Kukai. Just stay positive. ;) Also don't worry about your family my manager took care of that for you._

….

It was 8:05 when I finally arrived at school. Luckily when I went home to change my clothes none of my brothers were home. When I went to the attendance office the old, wrinkled lady gladly gave me an admittance ticket to get into class. I bowed graciously and she returned a polite smile. "Have a good day."

Walking in those hallways and forcing a smile upon my face as people walked by was the hardest thing to do. Especially when I knew deep down, my soul was slowly tearing itself apart. Then when I feel like I can make it through the day my sides begin to hurt remembering the punishments at home. And my heart, oh my god, my heart shatters each time I see Amu. The hardest part is I can't tell her because when I try to… I just shut down.

I slammed my locker closed and listened to the late bell ring. I stood still and continued staring off into space. The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway broke through my chain of thought. Just as they were passing by I turned my head fast enough and met a beautiful face.

Just the person I was hoping to avoid. Amu unexpectedly stopped when our eyes meet. A cold silence plagued around us. I got goosebumps realizing her mouth opened about to say something to me. But I didn't allow myself to hear; instead I shook my head and walked away... again.

I walked away when she wanted to know why I didn't want her near anymore. I walked away when she wanted to try again. And now I walked away because I couldn't bear to hear her voice and see those eyes that held confusion and despair.

I didn't even stop when she called out to me. I kept going because I wasn't man enough to face her. I just couldn't bear to break down in front of her. I wanted to be tough for the both of us. I wanted so much for us but I just wasn't man enough to say when I was on the verge of disaster. Instead I remained silent and hid everything that I considered 'weak' just so everything seemed right in the world.

But it wasn't.

If anyone asked me what a man was. I wouldn't be able to tell because I didn't even consider myself one.

…..

**Author's Note time! Well a lot of you seemed disappointed with me adding Utau but I know at least one of you lovely reviewers loves the fact that I did because we agree that we love drama ;) **

**Now to explain the scene between Kukai and Utau before a lot of you overreact. Nothing happened between them. NONE AT ALL. They slept next to each other in the same bed but it meant nothing. Although Kukai got the wrong idea XD But it's okay! Why? Because nothing happened, right? Good I think we get it now. Another note to add is they talked all night and eventually fell asleep so I'm apologizing earlier for not going into depth about their conversation. **

**Sorry that the Kutau scene took up most of the chapter XD but I don't like to write super long chapters so deal with it. **

**Now to answer reviews!**

**Narutoshugofan1: I'm sorry about adding Utau but I promise she won't ruin the Kukamu- ness ;) **

**addimision2: Don't worry it won't! The story is labeled Kukai & Amu! XD**

…**.**

**Please Review Below! I hope to hear from some new people ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Butterfly

….

He was a bastard.

A true bastard at heart.

Right when I wanted to tell him…

He walked away without even looking at me.

Screw him and his little pmsing moments!

I stood still and watched him leave with his head down. When he finally disappeared I gazed at his locker then back in the direction in which he left. I wondered if he knew that I saw the pictures of us hanging in his locker and notes I had written to him with words of love and pictures.

Our inside jokes were the best if you asked me. But now wasn't the time to think about that. Now I had to mentally prepare myself for my date… with Tadase. The school prince, the one every girl was dying to be with, especially my poor friend Yaya. I still haven't even told her about the date. The only one I have told so far is Rima and the only response I got from her was complete and utter disappointment. She only frowned and shook her head in a disapproving way. I begged her not to tell Yaya so hopefully I wouldn't have another _DRAMA QUEEN_ to deal with.

But who knows if that will happen. I'm pretty sure the rumor of Tadase and I was already going around. Maybe that's why Kukai walked away from me but then again…

I scratched my head in confusion as I walked to my biology class. Luckily, I had it with Rima and we were partners so hopefully she would cheer me up. I smiled for the first time that day realizing that having friends is all I needed right now. No boys meant no drama. Too bad I still had to deal with Tadase. I still didn't know why I had accepted his offer. Probably it was because of his persistent asking that I got tired of it and just told him yes to get him off my back.

I shook my head laughing at my stupidity. Oh well when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

...

"Hey Kukai! Where are you going?" Daichi yelled after me as I stomped across the courtyard at lunch time heading right towards the 'school prince'.

"Hey Tadase!"

When he didn't turn around to face me, I yelled at him again and physically turned him around myself. "Hey!"

His eyes narrowed. "Hey Kukai. Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah answer this one question for me." My grip on his shoulders tightened. He nodded for me to continue. "What's your reasoning for going after Amu?"

The blonde smirked upon hearing the question and forced my hands off his shoulders. "Don't tell me you're jealous Kukai." When I didn't answer him his smile grew wider. "Why am I not surprised?"

I shook my head and looked around noticing some other kids had stopped to view the confrontation. I cursed under my breath realizing my mistake of doing this at school but I wanted answers now. "Just answer the question and I will be out of your way."

Tadase leaned to his right and crossed his arms while cocking his head and studying me. I heard Daichi and the some of the other soccer players whispering behind me but I chose not to pay attention to them.

"Well to tell you the truth… I like Amu and I want to get to know her better. Is that a good enough for you?"

My eyes flashed around the crowd as the whispering got louder. When he started to turn away I grabbed his shoulder again once our faces met I sternly said, "If you hurt her. You'll have to deal with me."

I let him go right after that watching carefully as he left with his other friends. In the pit of my stomach I knew exactly what Tadase was planning to do on his date tomorrow with Amu. He was going to make a move. I shoved my hands in my pockets and started walking towards my car.

Daichi followed right behind me. "Hey dude! Where are you going?"

"Just get in the car."

He obeyed and got in the passenger side while I started the car and backed up almost hitting another car.

"Whoa! What's wrong?" Daichi yelled at the top of his lungs as he quickly put his seat belt on realizing the horrible situation I was putting him in.

"I'm just a little irritated right now." I said through gritted teeth. Once the car behind us moved out of the way I shot out of the parking lot almost hitting a few people on the way out. I could hear Daichi whispering curse words under his breath as he tightly gripped his seat belt. I grinned and started driving towards Taco Bell.

The silence between us grew thick. Until Daichi spoke again, "So did you mean what you actually said to Tadase?"

I grabbed the plastic food bag from the cashier and handed it off to Daichi along with the drinks. "What part are you talking about?"

Daichi snorted. "The part where you said if he hurts Amu, you would be all over him like a bad rash."

I laughed at his use of words. "I don't think I said it quite like that, Daichi."

"Just answer the question already before I beat it out of you." From the corner of my eyes I saw him shove some chips and cheese down his throat before taking a huge swig of his Pepsi.

"Of course I mean it. I lo-"

Daichi interrupted me immediately. "_Don't_ say those words when I'm trying to eat."

I finished off my two tacos and drank some more pop before looking back over at him with a disappointed look. "You asked me the question and I answered you truthfully. The least you can do is not gag every time I say that phrase."

"Well I'm sorry. I can't stand it because I've never thought of a girl like that before."

I shook my head laughing. "Maybe you should stop being such a player."

"I would but I don't know how to stop."

I turned back into the parking and came to a complete stop when a bunch of kids decided to walk out in front of me. I laid on the horn earning a lot of screams and curse words.

Then Daichi just had to point out Amu and Rima in the crowd gawking at us. I slapped my hand against my forehead feeling butterflies in my stomach noticing how innocent she looked. So much for not dealing with anymore awkward situations.

Once everyone moved out of the way I drove towards the nearest parking spot and jumped out of the car after turning it off. Daichi fumbled behind trying to catch up to me.

"You can't hide that blush from me!" I rolled my eyes and continued on hiding my face from everyone else who was standing around.

"So you noticed how cute Amu looked today, eh?" Daichi nudged me with his elbow and raised his eyebrows trying to get a reaction from me.

"Knock it off, Daichi."

He stepped a foot away from me as we walked and snickered to himself. I hated how immature he could be especially since he could read me like a book. I wondered if Amu noticed my face reddened instantly when I gazed up at her. God I hope not. How embarrassing.

...

**:) First off I'm sorry I haven't updated in two weeks! I would love to give you my excuse of homework overload, busy club days and homecoming week _but_ I know none of you probably want to hear it. So I'm begging you not to kill me! Plus I'm planning on making it up to you all! Since I won't be at home next thursday, friday, saturday and part of sunday, I will be writing at least two more updates for all you lovely subbers/reviewers! Lately I have been noticing alot of favs and alerts and it just makes me jump up and down with glee :) So THANK YOU! **

**Anyway PLEASE REVIEW BELOW!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Call Me

* * *

I was so infuriated today. Not only did I totally twist my ankle last night at soccer practice, leaving me out of the last soccer game before state, but it was also Friday which meant Amu's date with Tadase was tonight. I had no idea where they would be or what they would be doing but I knew for sure that Tadase was going to put the moves on her. And if I had anything to do with it, I wasn't going to let that happen no matter what. Even if I had to interrupt the date myself!

Well… maybe I wouldn't go so far that I would stalk them but after I went home and got my ass chewed out by my older brothers for being so clumsy on the field, I basically zoned out thinking about everything that had happened in the last few weeks of being single.

Something stirred inside me telling me to go back to her. Now I knew what it was like being away from her. Not having that bond with her really made me realize how important she is to me. I think I finally realized what a bad call I made about us.

The hard part now was actually telling her. Even now with the fact that she was supposedly going out with Tadase but I couldn't let that stop me, right?

I shook my head as those thoughts kept piling up in my mind. The crutches were defiantly hard to get used to but I think I was doing great. I stumbled a few times and my armpits hurt like hell but what else was new?

I opened up my locker with some difficulty and tried putting away some of my books. Unfortunately, I dropped every single thing in my arms. My pile of stuff flew all around on the floor. I cursed under my breath as I crouched down trying to retrieve everything.

Everyone around me seemed to ignore my struggles on the ground and kept going on with their lives. They were selfish if you asked me. My good leg got tired of holding me up and I finally collapsed on the ground not caring whether I got up or not.

I looked down at the pile in front of me and wondered how in the world I was going to get back up. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned up against the lockers. My line of sight began at the floor and slowly went up towards a group of girls standing near.

I cocked my head to side and studied them further. Then it hit me.

It was Rima and Yaya standing across from me, staring at my damaged form. I watched as they quickly disappeared down a set of stairs. That's when I realized Amu wasn't with them.

* * *

I walked outside into the bright sunlight. The weather was comfortable with a slight breeze, it was perfect. I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked around the courtyard. From a short distance I noticed Amu's friends leaving in a rush.

I took the chance to confront Rima and Yaya. As soon as they noticed me coming right at them they tried rushing away.

"Whoa! Wait up there!" I yelled hobbling right in front of them.

Both of them stopped and exchanged glances. Yaya was the first to speak out. "What do you want Kukai?"

"Where's Amu today?" I huffed out catching my breath.

Yaya's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. "She hasn't been here all day."

"Is she out sick today?" I asked while adjusting my crutches.

The only answer I got back from her was a simple shrug. I shook my head, frustrated, and waved them off before heading back towards the school.

I was going to take matters into my own hands. I took a seat near the closest bench setting my crutches off to the side. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and opened up a new text.

"_Hey Amu! Where are you today?"_

Five minutes passed by before I got a returned text.

"_My mom let me skip school today. I didn't feel well this morning."_

"_Hahaha."_

"_Why are you laughing?"_

I smiled and answered, _"Because even from here, I can tell you're lying."_

"_Oh really? Why would I be lying then?"_

"_Well… you're either skipping so you don't have to present a project or you're hiding from Tadase."_

_"How did you know?"_

"_Which part was it?"_

"_The Tadase part."_

"_You're right I am good. :)" _

"_Shut up."_

"_Amu… can I ask you something?"_

* * *

My fingers trembled against the keypad on my phone. I couldn't believe we were talking normal. It just felt… right. Was it bad to feel like this again?

I knew I wasn't over him but I thought I was in the process of it. Eventually as I stared off into space I received another text from Kukai.

_"Amu?"_

I wondered if I should've said no instead but I didn't. I took a leap of faith.

_"Sure go ahead and ask me."_

A few moments later my phone vibrated. I opened up my phone and felt my stomach churn instantly.

_"Can I call you tonight?"_

I frowned. _"I have my date tonight with Tadase."_

_"I know that but maybe afterwards you can call me."_

I felt a burning sensation overcome my cheeks and the butterflies in my stomach began to flutter around. I made a bold move and not even thinking twice about the reason behind it.

_"Are you free now?"_

Almost immediately he responded back.

_"Go right ahead. :)"_

I smiled and sat up from the bed. Moving too fast and causing my vision to blur around me, I became dizzy. I groaned and laid back down dialing in Kukai's number.

He answered right away.

"Hey beautiful."

I shook my head. "Don't try to butter me up, Kukai."

"Sorry old habits die hard."

"You're still quick with your words aren't you?"

"For sure."

I bit my lip as a silence broke out between the both of us. Suddenly I heard the school bell on his line ring commencing that lunch was over. "Maybe you should get back to class."

"Nah don't worry about it. I don't mind skipping chemistry class."

"Kukai! I don't want to be the reason you're getting in trouble."

He snorted into the phone and exclaimed, "Don't worry about it! Trust me I don't care!"

I exhaled loudly and closed my eyes.

"I'm surprised Amu."

My eyes popped open. "What do you mean?"

"I'm surprised that we've been talking this long."

I considered the comment and closed my eyes again. "I can't believe it either."

"Are you excited for your date tonight?" I heard the late bell ring in the background.

"I just hope it isn't horrible."

"Do you think he will try to make a move on you?"

"I have no idea, honestly."

I heard him whispering to someone else and I struggled to hear the other conversation. Then he came back on the line. "Sorry about that. One of my friends was running late and was wondering if the bell rang."

"Oh I don't care." A soft knock came to my door. "Hold on Kukai."

"Alright." He answered.

I covered the speaker and spoke out. "Who's there?"

"I'm sorry if I woke you up honey I was just wondering if you were hungry at all."

I recognized my mom's voice and replied, "Uh… grill cheese and tomato soup is just fine."

"Ok I will bring it up when I'm done." I heard her walk away from the door and held the phone back up to my ear.

"I'm back."

"Good to hear but I have to go to class. I don't want to be too late."

My heart dropped. "Oh yeah… I guess I will talk to you later then."

"You bet. Remember to call me after the date. I don't care how late it is, okay?"

"Ok sounds good, Kukai."

He sighed softly and whispered, "Goodbye Amu."

"Goodbye Kukai."

I heard the dial tone and set my phone on my nightstand next to my bed. That's when I noticed Ami standing at the edge of my bed eyeing the phone and me.

"Are you okay, Ami?" I whispered ushering her over to me.

She stood in front of me with her hands behind her back and her toes pointing towards each other. "Who were you talking to?"

I smiled and brushed some of her hair out of her face. "I was talking to Kukai."

"Why? I thought you hated him." She asked with a concerned look on her face.

I laughed at her and replied back, "I don't hate him. I was just angry with him and I think I still am but…"

"But you love him!" She exclaimed.

"That could be it, Ami."

She jumped up and down patting my head. "You two are going to get married one day just like in the movies!"

I sweatdropped at the thought. "I wouldn't think that far ahead."

"How about he comes over again like old times!"

"I think we should be friends first before I start doing that again." I said rubbing my forehead.

She displayed her famous pouty look, which included her bottom lip sticking out and her eyes putting on a display of a sad puppy looking for attention. "But I want him to come over."

I exhaled loudly. "How about I ask him to come over this weekend."

Her expression immediately cleared up. "Ok Sissy!" And with that she ran out of my room closing the door behind her.

I rolled over on my back and rubbed my eyes. "I can't believe I'm talking to him again." I broke out into a giggle fit despite of myself feeling the eruption of butterflies in the pit of my stomach, again. "Dear Kami, what am I doing to myself?" I asked between breaths.

**

* * *

**

Well how did I do? You have no idea how long it took me to write this update plus how many times I rewrote it in order to make me feel happy! I don't even know if I'm still happy with it but heck what do I know? Just so you know I want to write another Kukamu story after this one but I need ideas! Any help from all of you will be greatly appreciated :) Also I hope you all are still enjoying the updates sorry they are still coming in late I'm trying super-duper hard here! Haha ;) thank you for all the reviews! (Did you notice I made the chapter slightly bigger?)

**Also does anybody know any good Kukamu stories on here? I'm already reading Moonlight which is the only one that's rated M (I wish she would update!) so any suggestions?**

**Please review below! **

**:)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: I'm Desperate for Your Voice

* * *

I stood in front of a tall mirror trying to admire my outfit for my date tonight with the school's 'prince'. But everything I tried on looked horrible or didn't seem right. Finally I decided to go with a short, ruffled skirt and a purple and white tank top with a black, leather jacket on top. I also paired the outfit with a pair of small black heels. I put my rose colored hair up in a messy bun with a sparkly silver flower on the hairband.

I heard my mom call me downstairs yelling that Tadase was here to pick me up. I took a deep breath before grabbing my phone and purse. I hurried down the stairs almost tripping in the process when I noticed Tadase was dressed up in a nice buttoned up shirt and dress pants.

I mentally groaned feeling uncomfortable. I wasn't use to dressing up for a date. Usually when Kukai and I would go out we would do something fun and different every time. Like bowling, rock climbing, drive- in movies and so much more. Not some fancy dinner and probably a romance movie afterwards. I don't know if he realized that his tricks wouldn't work on every girl he took out.

My mom made us stand together and took a picture squealing loudly while my dad stood fuming behind her hiding his tears. Obviously he wasn't too happy that I was going out with someone, again. From the corner of my eye I noticed Tadase was all smiles and happiness. I tried to match his same exact one but I failed miserably. I knew this because my mom laughed nervously and told me to show her a 'real' smile.

Tadase gave me a questioning look in which I denied it by shaking my head furiously. He shrugged his shoulders and bowed before my parents promising to take good care of me tonight. I raised an eyebrow at his actions and gazed at my parents. My mom smiled sweetly and waved us off.

When we got outside to his car I noticed he left it running probably making sure it stayed nice and warm for me. We both got in and buckled our seat belts. He turned his head towards me and said politely, "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded and attempted to smile again when he shook his head towards me. "I know it's probably hard for you to be going out again with a new person. But hopefully by the end of the night your smile will be a true one."

Mentally I rolled my eyes seeing right past his 'perfect' words. I can see why Yaya fell for him but as soon as I told her about what Tadase wanted from me, she only told me that it was okay and that she understood. She moved on very quickly without even a tear to shed.

He entangled his fingers around my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I ignored it and turned to look out the window of the car as we drove by passing cars and streets. If I removed my hand I think I would've hurt his feelings so I left it where he had it.

A few minutes later we arrived at the fancy restaurant called Olive Leaves, it was Italian according to him. We ordered our food and had small, dinner conversations that I probably wouldn't even remember after he dropped me off back home. After we ordered dessert, he excused himself to the bathroom.

Once he was out of site, I grabbed my purse and dug for my phone. I checked it seeing Kukai had left me a text message. I opened it up immediately.

"_Hey how's your date going?"_

I looked up to see if Tadase was coming, the coast was clear. _"Trust me it's nothing special."_

"_Well that sucks. Maybe one day a good friend of yours will be able to make you feel better. ;)"_

I snorted and shook my head. _"Don't get the wrong idea, Kukai. We are going to be friends for now, nothing more."_

"_For now, eh? I like the sound of that!"_

"Who are you texting, Amu?"

My head immediately shot up. Tadase had a strange look on his face. He eyed my phone with great intensity and then that same expression melted away in seconds when I put my phone back in my purse.

I cleared my throat and said, "I was talking to Rima."

His eyes narrowed for a moment. "Oh so what did she want?" He took his seat and scooted in. Right as I was about to answer our waiter came back and handed us our desserts.

Once we were done, Tadase paid the bill and we got back into his car. Silence rang in my ears for what seemed like hours. I heard my phone vibrate in my purse. I grumbled and dug it back out seeing Kukai's name again. He could be such a brat sometimes. He knew I was on a date. Wasn't it rude to text during a date? I knew Tadase was mad about me texting because I felt slight whiplash when he sped up or braked but I decided to ignore the signs and continued texting Kukai.

"_Hey aren't you supposed to be on a date with someone?"_

"_Maybe but it's getting really boring especially since he knows I'm probably not really texting Rima."_

"_He shouldn't be getting his panties in a bunch so soon. That's not very nice for a date."_

"_Haha. Tell me about it."_

I didn't even realize that the 'prince's' car came to a complete stop on the side of the road. I looked up in a middle of a text and glanced over at him. He was staring off into space and his tongue clicked in his mouth every few seconds.

"Tadase are you okay?"

He turned his body towards me while his eyes gazed down at the phone in my lap. "Was it a mistake to pressure you into this date?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I know you haven't been texting Rima. I caught a glimpse of one of your texts."

So he really did know all this time that I wasn't paying attention to him. "I'm sorry. I'll put my phone away."

Suddenly, he began leaning forward. It took me just a single second to realize that he was trying to kiss me. I recoiled by turning my lips away from him. His soft, almost girly, lips touched my cheek. When he noticed I turned away from him, he leaned back with surprise.

I could feel that tears beginning to well up. He was about to do try again when I slapped him across the face. My hand burned from slapping him so hard. His bangs covered his eyes as he stared off again.

"What are you doing, Tadase?"

He answered back saying, "I thought maybe... you wanted to-"

"Take me home."

His eyes widened. "What why?"

"Just. Take. Me. Home." I demanded repeating each word with its own intensity.

"This is ridiculous!" He yelled slamming his hands down on his arm rest. I flinched.

"If you don't take me home then I will walk home myself." I began unbuckling when Tadase yelled again telling me to stay and that he would take me home.

The rest of the ride was incredibly quiet. I remained frozen thinking over everything that had happened with Tadase. Why was he being so pushy? Did he not see that I wasn't interested in him? This is absolutely ridiculous. I made sure I sat as far away as I could from him. Sometimes when I would glance over, I could see him glaring out the front window with his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were as white as a ghost.

When he drove up into my driveway I didn't even give him a chance to say anything as I flew out of his car making sure I had my dignity and purse in both of my hands. I whispered bastard as quiet as I could as I slammed the door shut and ran up to the front steps. I watched as he slammed on his gas and backed out. I saw a glimpse of him look up at me before speeding off.

I shook my head and rubbed my cheek trying not to remember what he was trying to do to me earlier. I turned around and opened my front door trying not to make any sort of noise. It was 10:35 p.m. by the time I got up to my room successfully without waking Ami or my parents. I felt all of my energy break away from my body as I fell back onto my bed.

I rubbed my temples and tried to do calming exercises that I learned from my mom. It seemed to be working but when I would close my eyes the image of an angry Tadase kept running through my mind. He was just a stupid pervert trying to take away a girl's innocence.

I growled loudly and sat up. Finally I realized that I never texted Kukai back. I dashed across my room and scrambled through my purse that was laying on my desk. Once I found it I saw Kukai had sent 10 texts, all of them about why I didn't text him back or asking if I was okay.

Tears that didn't fall when I was with Tadase, threatened to fall again. I didn't want to text him back so I called him instead. I was undeniably dying for his comfort but most of all I needed to hear his voice.

I dialed in his number and waited for him to answer. It felt like an eternity before he actually picked up.

"Amu, what the hell happened earlier?"

I swallowed hard before continuing. "Sorry about that, I just had a traumatic event happen right as we were texting."

I heard his breathing get louder. "What do you mean?"

Sensing the worry in his voice made me choke up at my next words. "He was trying to… seduce me I guess."

The line went quiet.

"Kukai?" I choked out trying to keep the impending tears back.

He didn't answer me back.

* * *

**Whoa I'm very surprised at how long this chapter is! It's the longest chapter in this story! I don't know what came over me but I wrote this in an hour. A straight full hour! I'm so proud of myself! I hope you don't mind the early update ;) I've been itching to write this for so long! And finally it happened! Sorry if I made Tadase a little OCC but truthfully he is the pushiest guy I have ever seen in Shugo Chara so I sort of enhanced one of his annoying traits. Trust me folks this is not the only climax that is going to happen in this story. There will probably be one more before it comes to an end! **

**The name of the chapter is a line of the song that inspired to write this story so yay! Please leave some lovely reviews :) it would be greatly appreciated! Do it now!**

**Review below!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Call I'm Sick

* * *

"Kukai, answer me now!" I screamed into the phone forgetting that everyone else in the house was sleeping. I quickly covered my mouth and whimpered against my hand holding back the impending tears.

His voice came back online only more rough and dry. "It's fine Amu."

I felt the first tear fall down my cheek. "You're a liar…"

When he laughed another tear cascaded down. He was shutting his emotions off. He always did this right as I would break down. He would pretend to be the 'strong' one just for me.

"I'm not lying I'm just extremely surprised that's all."

My grip on the phone intensified. "What are you thinking about right now?" I sniffed and tried to wipe away the tears that continued to fall.

"I'm wondering why you're crying and how you got yourself into that situation." In the background I could hear him rummaging through something. When I didn't answer for a long time he broke through the silence, "I should probably let you g-"

"Please don't go!" I shouted breaking off his sentence. "I just want you to stay on the phone as long as it takes for one of us to fall asleep… please." I begged again.

He sighed. "Sure why not?"

I smiled noticing that my tears were starting to dry up. "Thank you." I whispered.

Softly he whispered back, "No problem babe." He continued to talk while I silently answered back. I climbed into bed asking him a few questions here and there and laid my head on the pillow holding onto the phone for dear life.

* * *

I kept on talking until I could hear her breathing delicately into the phone. As quiet as I could I whispered to her, "Amu, you awake?" When I didn't get an answer I whispered to her again saying, "Goodnight… I love you."

It was the first time I ever seriously told her that. I knew she wasn't awake, hopefully, but my heart spoke faster than my brain could. I shut my phone and stared at the clock next to my bed. It read: 1:30 a.m.

I shook my head and was about to close my eyes when I heard a crash from downstairs. Hesitantly, I got up and walked up to my bedroom door pressing my ear against it listening for a noise. I heard another crash; it sounded like someone was breaking dishes against the wall. Then it finally occurred to me. My eldest brother, Kaido, was drunk and just walked in. Just as I was about to open the door I heard my other brother, Shuusui, running down the hallway.

I silently crept out from my room and looked over the railing watching as the scene unfolded.

Kaido sat on the couch hunched over and mumbling to himself in a drunken matter while Shuusui calmly strolled over to him and tried to place a hand on his shoulder. But as soon as he did, Kaido immediately pushed him away and got up to stare straight into his eyes.

"Go back to sleep, little brother."

Shuusui calmly said, "I just wanted to see if you were alright. I heard you throwing some dishes around so…"

"I don't need your help." Kaido said bluntly poking my brother's chest with every word. Then he pushed him roughly and yelled, "Now get out of my way!"

Shuusui stepped out of the way and turned to face Kaido's back. "Can you please clean up the mess you made before you go to sleep?"

It only took a second before Kaido turned around and punched Shuusui as hard as he could. He laid on the ground for two whole minutes while I silently battled with myself, wondering if I should go down and help. But if I did I knew what would happen next. My sides ached from the thought. Shuusui sat up and gave my brother a disappointed scowl. He wiped his bloodied mouth and paused to look at Kaido's smirking face. "Well that wasn't very nice…" When he finally stood up, Kaido scoffed and started towards the stairs again.

"You know it's sad to think how you were so against drinking to cure your emotions. But now…" Shuusui paused to adjust his glasses. "You're a drunken mess who takes his anger out on, not only himself, but also on us."

"You're dead to me, Shuusui." He stomped over to have another staring contest. I flinched as Kaido knocked him out and left him to sleep on the floor. The next thing I knew he was coming up the stairs so fast I had no time to get away. He grabbed me by the collar and thrust me right into his face.

"What are you doing up?" He growled. A thick smell of alcohol burned my nostrils. "Huh?" He shook me and then threw me into the railing. I yelped out and grabbed my shoulder. That was defiantly going to leave a bruise. Then he kicked my stomach before grabbing me by the hair and throwing me into my room. He slammed the door behind me and stomped off into his room.

I remained still, staring off into space. As I tried climbing into bed I felt my stomach churn. "Shit…" I whispered trying to sooth the pain. Eventually I was able to get comfortable enough to actually sleep letting the pain finally melt away… for now.

* * *

The next morning while I was brushing my teeth, I received a text message from Amu asking for me to meet her at her house. My eyebrows furrowed at the thought. If her parents were there or worse her friends… then I was screwed beyond belief, there was no doubt that whoever was there they would say something. I wiped those ugly thoughts from my mind and washed my face quickly before heading out towards the hallway.

I poked my head out checking to see if anyone was home and decided that the coast was clear. I crept out of the bathroom and hurried towards the door grabbing a sweatshirt and the keys to my car. As I hopped into the driver's seat I noticed in the mirror that someone was pulling into the driveway next to me. I saw a glimpse of Kaido's brown hair and immediately started the car. Kaido shot out of his vehicle so fast with a beer in hand and headed straight for me. I waved goodbye nervously and sped out of his reach.

He waved a threatening fist towards me and mouthed a few curse words. I stuck my tongue out and put the car in drive. Relief took over and relaxed all of the tense muscles in my body. I cracked my neck and shoulders feeling twice as good as before. I was only two blocks away from Amu's house.

A few minutes later I drove up to her house and parked right in front of the house. I took a deep breath feeling nervous while a crowd of butterflies formed in the pit of my stomach. I slowly exited the car and gazed up seeing Amu watching me from the living room window. I casually waved at her and started up the pathway to her house. Before I could even reach the door, Amu flung the front door open and welcomed me inside. I removed my shoes and looked around sensing no one was home. I turned around seeing her studying me.

"So we are all alone, huh?" I asked checking around the house again. She grabbed my hand and led me towards the stairs. We headed to her room without a word.

I sat on top of her bed and leaned back watching as she ran around the room cleaning up some clothes and other items off of the floor. Her pacing meant something was up for sure. But I wanted to wait until she was ready to spill.

She stopped to stare out her window towards the passing cars and people. I cocked my head to the side as she placed her hand on the glass. As quiet as I could I got up from the bed and walked up behind her.

"Something must be on your mind." I stated nonchalantly. Almost immediately she leaned back into my body and hummed. I smiled looking into the reflection of the glass seeing her eyes were closed and a tranquil expression plastered on her perfect face. I rested my head on top of hers and lightly placed my arms around her waist. It felt good having her by my side again. It felt amazing and _right._

But was it really for keeps this time?

* * *

**Well I'm the greatest updater ever aren't I? Hahaha ^_^; Since I know none of you probably want an excuse for my lateness I will shut my mouth! I hope you all enjoyed the new update! It took forever to choose what I wanted to write about but I finally got this idea! It's so weird how I always right in Kukai's point of view I really did mean to write in Amu's but I guess that's not gonna be that way! But I'm sure none of you mind it... well I hope not anyway. **

**Oh yeah I almost forgot! Right now another Kukamu story is coming up! Ironically the idea popped up in my head by a song XD just like this one came to be. I guess the only Kukamu stories I can write are inspired by songs! Weird, huh? Now to answer some reviews!**

**addimison2: He just might! But who knows ;) **

**Nothing Short of Awesome: I love your idea about the Utau x Kukai x Amu story! Like I really LOVE it. I will work on a storyline for sure! :)**

**Thank you to everyone else who is still reviewing, faving, etc. It really is amazing! Thank you again! Also you can still give me ideas for future stories! I do take requests ;) it's just the matter of if I want to do it haha.**

**PLEASE REVIEW BELOW!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Call I'm Angry

* * *

Amu hadn't fully realized the situation that was developing right under her nose but she knew that she couldn't keep going back and forth with him. She could feel his grip around her waist increasing which was enough for her to push away from him.

She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair letting out a slow sigh. She could feel his eyes wondering over her carefully slightly confused of her actions.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked gazing towards the window.

She shot a glance back towards him and instantly regretted everything that had just happened. "No it's okay. It's just… weird is all."

A sad smile came across his features. "We went from friends to something more and now we-"

"It's been awhile since we have been just friends." Amu said nodding in agreement.

Kukai walked over to the girl and grabbed her hands placing a soft kiss over them. Her face flushed from the touch and remained still.

When he looked back, he made sure their eyes locked. "But I don't think I should be here right now with just me and you, alone."

He noticed her eyes beginning to glisten with impending tears. The next thing he did was pull her into a tight embrace allowing her to melt into his form. He gently whispered into her ear.

"I should leave for now and let you cool off."

Amu's heart sank immediately after hearing those words but nonetheless she nodded against his shoulder agreeing with his choice.

He continued whispering. "It's not you I don't trust. I can't trust myself being alone with you." His grip tightened around her letting her know he was sorry for hurting her again.

Eventually Kukai let go and felt Amu step away from his body. He already missed the warmth from her body but smiled anyway as she quickly wiped away her tears. When she had done the best she could for her face, she gazed up at Kukai waiting for him to say anything else.

"Do you want to walk me to my car?" He asked holding out his arm for her to take.

Amu didn't even wait for him to repeat his question. She latched onto his arm and led him back down to his car. Once outside they said their goodbyes and awkwardly hugged again without the passion they both deeply wanted back.

They just weren't willingly enough to say it out loud for the other to hear.

* * *

I watched her in my review mirror as I drove away. Every single emotion coursed through my veins such as relief, sadness, confusion and the biggest one being anguish.

Why didn't I kiss her when I had the chance? I should have been on my knees begging for forgiveness! I wanted her to know everything that I regretted for the last few weeks. But every time I went to tell her, I come up with another excuse.

I slammed my hands against the steering wheel as a surge of frustration dominated all my other emotions. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and retrieved it out glancing at the screen.

"Utau?" I whispered and flipped the phone open.

_Hey Kukai! I haven't heard from you in a few days… wanna hang out today?_

So she was still in town, eh?

_Sorry about that I've been busy. What do you wanna do?_

It didn't take long for her to answer back. _Come meet me at the hotel and we can go from there! :) _

As I went to type a response I felt a sense of worry overcome me. This just didn't seem right but what else could I do?

_Yeah no problem. See you in a few. _

_Can't wait! ;) _

….

I feel stupid. What the hell am I doing in a hot tub with a half- naked girl? This isn't right. I should get out and make up an excuse to leave right now.

I watch as she moved closer, her violet eyes growing darker with mischief. I open my mouth in which she gently rubs my thigh smiling softly. But underneath that smile I know what she is thinking.

As nicely as I could, I brushed her hand off and tried to smile. "So when are you supposed to be back at work?"

She frowned at the question and her happy face turned into a scowl. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

I held up my hands. "No I would never do that, Utau. It was just a question."

Utau eyed me carefully and scooted away obviously pissed off. She let out a sigh and looked towards the pool where we were previously swimming. I followed her gaze and watched the ripples in the pool hit against the sides.

I rested my hand on her shoulder earning a quick glance from her before she turned away again.

"I'm sorry, Utau. I'm just a little…"

"Uncomfortable?" She added keeping her eyes on the pool.

I said nothing and gazed down at my lap. "I'm not uncomfortable just needing my space."

"Did your brother hit you again?"

I swallowed hard. "I'll be fine." From the corner of my eyes I could see her shaking her head.

"If you don't do something soon, I will."

Our eyes meet in an intense stand- off neither of us saying a word, only communicating by seeing who will look away first.

"Nobody deserves to go through what you are going through. Can't you see that?"

"No I guess I don't see that. Things will get better soon."

She snapped her head back towards me. "You are so stupid, Kukai! If I could hit you right now I would!"

That's when I snapped. "Oh yeah? Well come on over and do it! Think I can't take it then look at my shoulder and see another nice bruise I got last night!"

Utau recoiled.

That's when I stood up and grabbed her wrists as she tried to push me away. "None of this is fair! You think I like being beat on every single day? No I don't!"

"Stop it Kukai!" She screamed trying to pry my hand from her wrists.

"I hate them! All of them! They act so normal like nothing is going on! We're fake!"

"If you hate them so much then stop acting like them!" Tears streamed down her face and suddenly I let go falling back down into the hot water.

I could only gape at her as she wiped away her tears and rubbed her wrists trying to comfort them.

I met her violet eyes seeing her anger seething just underneath the surface.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled never waving from her face.

She stood up so fast water splashed off her body and hair and landed right on me. I wiped my eyes as quickly as I could and saw she was staring me right down.

"If you ever do that to me again or to someone else, like Amu, I will personally take you down, you got that?" She shivered but didn't let up on her glare.

I got up again and wrapped my arms around her waist bringing her up against my body. She melted into my form, just like Amu would, and squeezed hard.

"You're lucky, Kukai."

"Why do you say that?" She pushed away from me and I notice the heat had risen up to her cheeks. "Utau?"

"Amu!" She blurts out suddenly. "Amu is very lucky to have someone like you. You're strong and such a gentleman." A small smile formed on her face. "Even if you're hardheaded sometimes."

I smiled back at her when she gave me eye contact again. "I think I will take those as compliments."

She turned away and crossed her arms. "Good because it's true. All of it… is true."

* * *

I left the hotel feeling like total crap. I let my anger and frustration get the best of me. Now I was going home right back into the line of fire. I parked the car in the driveway and cut off the engine staring straight at my shaking hands on the steering wheel.

I shook my head trying to erase all the racing thoughts in my mind and got out of the vehicle, locking it behind me.

Walking into the house I noticed nobody was home yet. I looked around the kitchen and decided on eating some left over mac and cheese. I took a seat on the couch and began stuffing my face.

A sudden thought surfaced into my mind. There's a dance coming up. As a matter of fact it was junior prom coming up which meant that I could ask Amu to go with me. That's it! That's how I was going to get her back! Take her out for a nice meal, dance and confess. A smile formed on my face.

"It's for the best isn't… Amu?"

"Well what do we have here?" Those slurring words could only belong to Kaido. "Where did you decide to go after you high jacked one of our three cars?"

I got up from the couch and turned to face him. "A friend needed me so I went to see how I could help."

"That's a really stupid excuse. Were you out getting drugs or hooking up with your girlfriend? What's her name…Amu?"

My eyebrow twitched as her name left his mouth. He made it sound ugly with his horrible slurring. "No to both of your accusations."

He grunted back. "Better go to your room I'm having a couple of my friends come over to hang out." He set two large cases of beer on the floor.

"Why would I have to go to my room if it's just a few friends?" I asked bravely.

Kaido stepped forward and eyed me. His hand came up to my face to brush my bangs out of his way. I flinched immediately. It didn't go unnoticed either.

"What's the matter Kukai? Got a problem?" His voice was rising.

"No there's no problem."

He crossed his arms. "Good now do as I say and don't come out until they're gone, unless you have to pee or something."

I nodded and quickly followed his directions not even bothering to clean up my food. The so called 'get to together' lasted until two a.m. that night. I had a feeling my family life was about to get ten times harder to solve than my love life.

* * *

**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ;) I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this story in like what? Almost two years? Yeah. It's horrible that I did that to you guys you have followed this story religiously! So I'm proud to say it's back! And I hope you enjoyed the long overdue update! Look out for the next one! Trust me it won't take over two years this time! ;)**

**REVIEW BELOW PLEASE. **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: I'm torn to do what I have to.

* * *

School started back up again as usual with no signs from Kukai at all. The days passed by so fast, it was already Thursday and I was beginning to worry. Maybe he was trying to avoid me after what had happened on Saturday?

My mind raced with all sorts of things that could have happened to him but I wasn't getting anywhere. Until…I saw Daichi's vibrant, sky blue hair in the hallway during passing time. I quickened my pace towards him not caring if I was late to fourth period. As soon as he caught me coming his way, I could see he was trying to cut loose from a girl who was flirting with him.

I kept pressing forward and suddenly I was gaining on him. I reached out and yanked on the hood of his sweatshirt causing Daichi to choke on air. I spun him around so fast that even his eyes spun round.

"What is wrong with you?" I pushed him up against the lockers to get out of the way of oncoming students.

His eyes were wild. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you! You were the one chasing me down the hallway, choking me and smashing me into lockers!"

I resorted back, "I wouldn't have had to if you didn't run away in the first place!" I kept a tight grip on his sweatshirt and applied enough pressure to keep him glued to the lockers.

"Amu, whatever your problem is…bring it up with your friends not me!" He tried to get free of my grip but I wouldn't let up.

"Tell me where Kukai is and I will let you go!"

He stopped struggling and his mouth dropped open. I avoided his gaze feeling embarrassed that I just yelled that statement out loud. My grip loosened and Daichi grabbed a hold of my wrists to keep me at bay, just in case he needed to.

"Jesus Amu, you went through all of this to ask that dumb of a question? I thought I did something wrong!"

I tried to yank away from him but he used his strength against me. "Fine if you won't answer me-"

His voice interrupted me. "I haven't heard from him either."

I looked up at his face to confirm he was telling the truth. From what I could tell, Daichi knew about as much as I did: Nothing.

"I've been calling, texting, and leaving him voicemails. He hasn't answered me back."

Then Daichi did the weirdest thing to comfort me. He let a couple of his fingers stretch up to my palms and let them graze over the sensitive skin. I sat there for a good minute or two letting him comfort me. Too bad someone ran into the back of me so I fully collided into Daichi. He wrapped his arms around my torso and turned my back against the lockers so he was the one getting bumped into.

His dark, brown eyes locked onto mine. "I think everything is going to be okay, Amu. He's probably sick. Plus, the bastard's probably too lazy to get up and check his phone anyway."

I nodded quickly and let my eyes roam over Daichi. He had never treated me like this before. In fact, I had never seen him act this kind to anyone unless he was trying to impress a girl.

"You're probably right. Thank you, Daichi."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "That response isn't very believable."

I gazed around his face seeing people chattering away as they walked by us. Their eyes would land on mine and they would quickly turn to their friends, whispering wildly back and forth. My stomach flipped and flopped inside of me. I didn't like this feeling of constantly being watched and judged.

Daichi grabbed my cheeks and stretched them. I made a blubbering noise trying to tell him to stop. "Don't take what they say so seriously. People live for this stuff."

He let go when I nodded but before he disappeared I loudly called after him, "Thank you Daichi! I mean it!" He turned around and smiled with a wink before blending completely into the crowd.

I had to be honest, Daichi did help me out with one thing, Kukai was going to have to respond back sometime but hopefully it would be sooner rather than later.

….

"Kukai was that your phone going off?" The door creaked open revealing Shuusui holding a bottle of pills and a glass of water.

"Yes… it was," I whispered hoarsely as I turned in my bed to face him. "Let me guess, more medicine?"

"The doctor said you need to take these every few hours to keep the pain level down." He walked over to the bed and set down the glass and pills on the nightstand. "Sit up so you can take these."

I complied and quickly took my medicine. Shuusui grabbed a hold of my chin and directed my eyes to his. I could barely see out of my left eye due to the fact that it was swollen shut but he forcibly opened my eyelids far enough to squeeze a few eye drops into it, the cooling relief washed over it.

"Does that feel better?" He asked.

I nodded. "Much better."

He grabbed a bag of ice around my right ankle and readjusted it with tape and then started to lift up my shirt checking the marks all over my body. I took a brutal beating mostly because I aggravated Kaido in his drunken anger.

"You should have left him alone, Kukai, like I told you to do."

I pulled down my shirt in frustration and started to move away from him when he adds in, "But a part of me is glad you did because now he is getting help."

I didn't answer. He tried to rub my back to comfort me only to be told to go away. His hand retreated. "School is getting out right about now. What do you want me to tell your friends if any of them come over to see you?"

"Just tell them that I'm sleeping and shouldn't be bothered."

Suddenly the doorbell chimed. Shuusui left the room and trotted downstairs leaving me to my thoughts. I felt numb and unresponsive. I know Shuusui was trying to help but I didn't want it. I deserved what I had gotten. I wouldn't let up on Kaido and he reacted. That's all there was to explain. But that didn't stop the police from taking Kaido away and sending me to the hospital.

Apparently, I had stopped breathing due to a head injury when I fell back and smacked my head on the counter. A mild concussion was what the doctors had said. Once I blacked out from that, Kaido wouldn't stop beating me until Shuusui pulled him off and my other brothers called 911.

Now that I thought about it, what happened really did sound gruesome. I cringed at the thought of my ankle getting sprained as I tried to run away from him only to trip and fall on a misplaced shoe but that was all before the black eye, concussion and beating happened, of course.

"Kukai?" I gazed over my shoulder to see Shuusui standing at the door with a worried look on his face. "There's someone here who resists on leaving so you can rest."

"Alright move it! Let me see this idiot!"

I purposely turned my swollen eye from his view. "What are you doing here, Daichi? Can't you leave me alone already? I've seen all your messages and-"

"Did you see her's then too?"

Shuusui quietly left my room.

My heart's pace quickened. "Yes I saw them. What about em'?"

Daichi let out an exasperated sigh. "Oh come on man!" Flinging his arms above his head, "You could have at least given us some sort of response! Here she was practically shoving me up against a locker and threatening my life!"

"I highly doubt she did any of that." Even if I took three times the medication I had to take already, nothing could get rid of_ this_ headache.

Daichi came over to my bed and sat down. "You are honestly the dumbest person I know! I mean can you really keep avoiding what's really going on?"

"Alright," I turned to look at him. "Please tell me what really is going on if you are the smartest guy in the world."

He studied my face for a moment before launched into his attack. "Well let's see," He posed his body into the 'thinker'. "Here you are beat to a fucking pulp, whining about how great of a friend I am for coming here and completely ignoring the girl you are so helplessly in love with. That's what is going on here, if I do say so myself." For added affect he pointed to his chest. "I _am_ the smartest guy in the world so thank you for the compliment."

"Whatever." I said rolling my eyes.

Suddenly he asked, "Did it hurt? I mean the beating and everything?"

"The parts that I remember did hurt but after I passed out, I would have no idea."

"Is he going to jail?"

"We're not pressing charges if that's what you are asking." Where was he going with all of this?

He sat quietly staring down at the floor. Something was obviously on his mind or someone at least. It was always hard to tell with him.

"What are you thinking about, Daichi?"

He narrowed his eyes at the floor. "Just how messed up this whole situation is, I guess."

"It really is but I will back in school this upcoming Monday which is good. Unfortunately, I won't be finishing out the soccer season out on the field with the rest of you."

Daichi laughed. "Dude, just because you're going to be a benchwarmer doesn't mean you won't be there with us. You are our captain so that means your opinion matters just as much as the coaches'."

We looked at eachother then. I could see it from a mile away that Daichi was holding back on something important. His eyebrows were twitching which was always a giveaway.

"You came to my house, not only to check up on me, but for some other reason." I wanted it come out as a question but it ended up more like a statement.

He took a deep breath and quit looking at me. "Amu kind of…" His sentence drifted off.

Confusion overtook me. "Did she ask you to come here?"

His shoulders slumped. "Not really. I knew you were going to be okay because your other brothers called me from the hospital but like I said, she was concerned and it was the only way to get her off my back." He slapped his hand to his forehead. "This is one reason why I always tried to avoid her." He grumbled.

A small smile tugged at my lips. "So you do have a soft spot for her?"

That's when he snapped. "Do not say that again! I only did this because I was trying to get her off my back! If she would have never cornered me I wouldn't be here right now talking to an idiot like you!"

"You're a real sweetheart you know that?" I knew that comment would send him off on a bigger rampage. Just as he was about to rage on, my phone started ringing that familiar ring tone. I went to grab it but Daichi beat me to it.

"What is she calling you for?" He hissed.

"It's none of your business!" I resorted.

He smiled wickedly and answered the phone. I tried to jump him but my sprained ankle roared with pain as I tried to walk. The ice pack fell to the floor and I retrieved it back with a groan of pain. Daichi then lightly pushed me back on the bed and walked across to the other side of the room.

"Well hello Utau! How's it going?"

His flirty tone of voice defiantly pissed me off.

"Oh yeah he's right here but his meds just kicked in so he's a little loopy! I can take a message for him if you want and tell him when he's his normal self again." He cast a wink at in my direction, which I answered with my middle finger. I had to be silent until I knew what Daichi was up to.

He nodded his head a few times and answered back with an occasional yes. "Okay Utau I will let him know! Talk to you later babe!" Finally he hung up. His whole flirty façade faded.

"Wow," He cast a glance at me then walked over and set my phone in my lap. "She sure is one sly lady."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Utau just wanted to know if you were okay and if you were willing to meet up with her before she leaves on tour again."

"Alright and how does that make her sly?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, Kukai. She told me about your little visit to her hotel room and a hot tub."

My fists clenched. "Nothing happened with her Daichi and it never will again." But I could tell he didn't believe me.

"You told her about everything before you even could drop a hint to Amu? What are you doing man? Are you trying to break the girl's heart into pieces?"

"Oh like you haven't broken a girl's heart before? Don't give me that crap!" I could feel anger rising in my chest. There was probably stem coming out of my ears too.

His face showed annoyance. "I have and I'm not proud of it. But I know damn well you don't want to do that to Amu."

I didn't have any come back to what he said. So I watched him walk out the door. I stared blankly at my phone for a while until I eventually put it under my bed to rot until Monday.

* * *

Well here it is folks! Another update for all! YAAAAY!

All I can say is that I had this halfway done for a while and then I relapsed into another writer's block before I could finish it. So be happy that I got out of it for an hour or two to finish this chapter up! I'm not really sure where it will go from here but I have a few ideas so stay tune and….

**REVIEW BELOW!**

(runs back to playing Pokémon Heartgold version) xD


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: & I'm Tired of Being All Alone

* * *

I took my time walking up to the school. Every fiber of my being was rigid. Every step was closer to seeing her. Every _painful_ step was leading to this very moment; the very moment when the truth was bond to come rushing out. My heart was tight and pounding loud in my head. It was an hour after school had already begun. Near the entrance of the school, I could see Daichi waiting for me. A smile formed on my lips as I drew closer.

Daichi opened the door and followed after me. I stared down the hallway at two girls who had paused to stare right back at me. I turned away not wanting them to see but I knew it was too late. The bruises on my face were healing slowly. They were still black and blue but the edges were beginning to turn green, which was a good sign. My ankle was in a brace and I had to use crutches to get around. Other than that the only thing that still hurt was my pride. But I needed to bear it for the time being. All of these things were going to disappear and I wouldn't have to think of it ever again.

But thinking of the future wasn't going to help me in the present. I needed to focus on today because today was definitely going to be the toughest. I didn't want to face my teammates nor my classmates. Worst of all, I didn't want to see Amu. I couldn't imagine the look on her face once she saw me. I cringed at the thought. Daichi was quiet. It was so rare of him to be silent but he knew everything that had conspired between me and Kaido. So his silence was understandable.

We reached the main office getting the key to the elevator so I didn't have to climb the stairs. The lady who gave us the key gave me a questionable look but never said a word to either of us. As we were heading out, a group of kids came around the corner and almost bumped into me. They stopped dead as soon as they saw my condition and continued staring even when I apologized for being in their way. I kept my head down as we passed classrooms with open doors and Daichi made sure to cover at least one side of my body from view. Shame poured from every pore. I couldn't stand it.

That's when I felt Daichi's hand on my shoulder bringing me back into reality.

"You alright, man?" His grip tightened. "I can take you back home if you're not ready."

I shook my head. "No I'm good. I just need to get over these nerves that's all." I tried to be reassuring but Daichi wasn't buying it.

He rolled his eyes. "If I were you I would have waited a week or so before coming back. This is like suicide and you know it."

The elevator door opened and we were quick to get on because the bell would be ringing any minute to let students out for their next class. The sooner I got to my teachers, the sooner I could hand in my homework from the days I had already been absent from school.

I shifted uncomfortably on my crutches. My armpits were aching already from how I had to rest my body on them. The elevator door opened and my stomach clenched at the sight of kids scurrying the halls. The bell must have rang when we were in the elevator. Daichi pressed his hand lightly on my back, urging me to step forward. I took a deep breath and did as he wanted.

Instantly, eyes snapped in my direction. Some were horrified while others stared and then quickly looked away as if the sight of me disgusted them. A foot radius started to form around us as we began to walk down the hallway. Every girl I gazed upon reminded me of Amu and I began to feel sick. I was beginning to wobble with each step and Daichi had to stop me from going any further until the next set of classes began. Obviously, my friend was right when he said I should have waited to return.

Finally, we were able to make it to all my classes but one. I couldn't go into most of my classes because they were filled with students and I didn't feel comfortable enough to enter when I knew everyone was going to stare. The principal said it was best for me to sit in study hall for the day so I wouldn't distract my fellow classmates from their work. I agreed with him simply because it sounded a whole lot better than facing them all at once.

Daichi couldn't stay with me, of course, but I didn't mind the silence of study hall. I mostly sat and doodled in my notebook while avoiding the stares of the students that were in study hall. Most of the kids in the room were frequently late, ditched or simply got in trouble too much to be in a classroom setting. So while the atmosphere wasn't too great, I tried to make the best of the situation.

Lunch was served to us, which sucked because I couldn't meet up with my friends but then the idea of being seen by Amu or her friends definitely didn't please me either. The rest of the day seemed to pass by pretty quick and once the school bell rang dismissing students for the day, I was completely stoked.

Daichi texted me and said to wait by study hall so he could take me home since my brothers were busy handling things with the police and Kaido. As I stood waiting, something out of the corner of my eye popped out to me.

It was a girl with a green sweater, a form-fitting black skirt, leggings, and her hair tied into a fish-tail braid. Without even thinking, I looked up and finally understood why she caught my attention. It was Amu, the very person who I was hoping to avoid successfully today.

A lump formed in my throat. I wanted so badly to turn and run but I couldn't keep my eyes away from her. She was talking to Rima and by what I could tell she was distracted and fidgety. There were bags under her eyes and overall she just appeared worn out. My heart went out to her immediately. I wanted to go over to her, but I couldn't. Not now and maybe not ever.

Suddenly it was like a slow motion moment. Her tired eyes found me and transformed from surprise to horror. Rima also turned and her expression was the exact same. If only I could turn away and run. I was rooted in place with nowhere to hide.

Her movements were slow and calculated. It was like she was a rusty, old robot who could finally move again. Her mouth opened to voice anything and everything that was running through her mind but I wouldn't allow it.

"Hey Amu! How are you today?" I forced the happiness right out of me trying to diffuse the atmosphere.

She scrutinized every part of my body. I wanted to stop her. This isn't how I wanted to bring it up. I needed to get out of this one way or another.

"Kukai, what's going on with you?" Amu swallowed and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "I want the truth."

I was trembling and stuttering now. I didn't want to talk. "T-this isn't the right t-time." I looked around watching all the people pass by. "T-too many people."

She shook her head. "Then come with me now! I'm tired of playing this game with you!" Rima touched her shoulder making Amu flinch but her eyes never wavered from me. "I deserve answers from you! I've waited long enough! It's your fault I can't sleep at night!"

"No way, Amu. This isn't a good time for this." I regained control of my voice. She stepped forward and embraced me. "What are you doing?"

Amu squeezed tighter. "Let's talk outside, Kukai." Her voice was barely audible. I met Rima's eyes noticing the anger just beneath the surface. She was daring me to refuse Amu again. I bit the inside of my cheek and sighed. "We can talk outside but not around these people." Rima looked away and told Amu that she would talk to her later, dismissing herself entirely. I was surprised that Daichi hadn't interrupted yet but then I watched Rima approach him at the end of the hallway. After she had apparently told him what was going on they disappeared around the corner together.

Wordlessly, Amu and I walked out the nearest doors. I noticed a bench a few feet away but she gripped my shoulder stopping me. I turned noticing her eyes glued to the bench in question. That's when it hits me; it's where we broke up. "It doesn't have bad karma." I muttered catching her off-guard. She released me and followed quietly. Once seated, she stared holes into my skull just waiting for me to begin.

I stared just as intensely mustering up the strength to speak. But she was patient, always has been, and it is one trait I wished I had. Once I collected myself. I started at the very beginning. Kaido was drinking to cope with the loss of his job and the anniversary of our parent's death. He had never really grieved over their loss and with the stress of losing money to pay for the house, groceries, and anything else any of his siblings needed- it tore him apart. He was angry to say the least. It led to a lot of fights and some of those fights got violent.

Kaido would disappear for days before coming home completely trashed. He would have bruises and broken bones leading us to think he got into trouble at the bars. My other brothers tried to get him help but it always failed. Kaido didn't want the help. It was always his choice and he got worse. He purposely fought with us like we were to blame for his problems. Unkai and Rento had moved out a couple months ago. So it was only Kaido, Shuusui, and I living in our house and it was hell. I told her about the beatings next. Her eyes widened and her fists clenched. She was rigid with terror and grief. I gave her most of the bloody details from the days I missed at school to the reason why I broke it off with her. I wanted to protect her.

Then I talked about the betrayal. I had told Utau and had been hanging out with her behind Amu's back. She let loose a few tears but never once interrupted. It was a lot to take in and I would be speechless too if the roles had been switched. After coming clean, I waited for her response. She turned away and wiped her eyes.

"Amu?" I called out. She stood up and began walking. I jumped up after her, grabbing her wrist and ignoring my throbbing ankle. I had left my crutches by the bench. "Are you even going to say anything to me?"

She shook her head. "What else am I supposed to say, Kukai?" Ripping her wrist from my hand, she turned and pushed me back a few feet. "You broke my heart! You… ass!" She heaved the last word, practically screaming it.

I raised my hands up to defend myself. "Woah! Hold up! You have no idea what I'm feeling or what I've felt these past months!" I touch her shoulders keeping a good foot or so between us. "This has torn me apart, too. So do not act like you're the only one hurting."

Anger was the only thing swimming in her honey colored eyes. "I _love_ you. You had no right to keep me in the dark for this long! And to tell your ex?" She slapped both hands off her shoulders. "You have a lot of nerve."

"It doesn't have to matter anymore!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air desperately trying to get her on my side. She pushed me again, seething at this point.

"Never, ever tell me it doesn't matter!" She poked my chest repeatedly driving me further back until I fall back onto the forgotten bench. I was at her mercy now. "If it was enough to break you apart then it _does_ matter. _ You matter, _so don't tell me otherwise." She spitted with venom. "Don't make me regret falling in love with you."

Just as she was about to continue her rant, I stopped her. "I love you, too." She paused mouth slightly open at my admission. Her eyes red from crying begin to tear up again.

"Don't you dare say that right now," Her voice quivered. "You can't just say that and expect it to stop this fight."

I frowned. "I'm not saying it to end this fight. I'm saying it because I finally have the courage to tell you." I fidget with my hands not knowing what to do with them. Reach out and grab for her again? Or keep them still? I don't look down though. I kept my gaze steady with her watching the turmoil rage on in her eyes.

"I'm not saying it to get back together either. I'm telling you be-"

"Stop," Her voice croaked. "It's not what I want to hear right now." She continued staring- waiting for what she wanted most.

I cleared my throat, using my crutches, I stood up again. "I'm sorry. I don't deserve you, never will." I sighed. "I will do anything to have you in my life again." A few tears cascaded down her cheek but I was quick to wipe them away. My thumb grazed her cheek affectionately. She leaned into my hand and I placed a quick kiss to her lips. I tried for another but she backed out of my grasp smiling sadly.

"I'm afraid it will take more than that to win me back." She flipped around but casted a longing stare over her shoulder. Suddenly she took off running to the doors leaving me flabbergasted. I lost my footing falling back onto the bench and my crutches fall to the ground- forgotten. I whipped out my phone dialing her number immediately. It went straight to voicemail and I could feel the tears flowing down my face.

"Call me now, Amu! We need to talk! Please!" I shut the phone utterly disgusted with myself. How could I let this happen? If only I didn't mess up the only thing that made me happy. I made a bad call afterall.

**THE END**

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Jesus fucking Christ, I posted the first chapter like three years ago? All I can say is thank you for all of the support through the years and all of the lovely reviews. It's nice to be finished with another story :) I know it was quick and kind of unfinished, but honestly I was going to end this story a lot worse! And before you ask I won't right a second part to this story! So don't be too disappointed. (Not all stories have to have a happy ending.) I'm moving onto bigger and better stories and I seriously cannot wait. I do plan on writing another Kukamu story but that will be far off in the future. (Maybe after I finish the other five other stories I have planned?) Anyway, have a Merry Christmas and New Year's everyone! :) Cheers! (& sorry for breaking your hearts with this ending!) 3


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